With Friends Like These
by BitterEloquence
Summary: G1: Driven by mutual greed, Smokescreen and the Combaticon Swindle form an uneasy alliance which evokes some memories better left buried and in the past. Cross-faction Slash Swindle/Smokescreen


Notes: Cross-faction relations and smuttiness ahead. Massive thanks to yankeesailor for the beta and just being an all around awesome person.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters within, nor am I making any money off of this story. All I own are the twisted ideas floating around in my head.

"_Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time. _

--H. L. Mencken

* * *

It was not a meeting of minds--and most certainly not one of morals. For one thing, both mechs were decidedly lacking in that particular department. Why else would they be on the opposite side of the galaxy from their respective factions and the war that was raging on their planet?

For credits of course. Lots of credits.

"Fancy meeting you here, Smokescreen." The Autobot's diversionary tactician looked up from his cube of energon as that almost-familiar voice called his name. It took him almost an astroclick to recognize the purple and yellow mech standing next to his table.

"What the slag are you doing here, Swindle?"

If the Decepticon had been expecting a warmer welcome, he was in for a letdown. Not one to be so easily dissuaded, the Combaticon helped himself to the chair across from the Autobot with an affable smile. "I was wondering that myself. You're a long way from home, aren't you?"

"The same could be said for you." Suspicion filled Smokescreen's optics but he made no move to attack the Decepticon. "Why are you here, Swindle?"

Swindle flagged down one of the aliens serving energon. "Same thing as you, I'm willing to bet," the Combaticon said with another charming smile.

"Me? I'm just here for a quiet drink."

"You crossed the galaxy, leaving the safety of your Autobuddies for a quiet drink? I don't think so." Irony colored Swindle's voice as he paid for his energon. The Decepticon's purple optics gleamed with amusement as they watched Smokescreen. "I'm rather put out actually. You bought the information I was after."

"Hmmn?" Smokescreen made an noncommittal noise and finished off his energon cube. "Only fair. You bought the information I was after on Rykos." If they had been any other Autobot and Decepticon, they would have probably been at each other's throats by now. But Smokescreen and Swindle were hardly model examples of their factions. Both were severely lacking in the morals department.

Swindle didn't see a mech's faction, he saw their credit amount and usefulness. Smokescreen was always working an angle and the two mechs regarded one another with mutual suspicion and respect.

"So how about we exchange information?"

"Wouldn't that be sort of like helping the enemy?" Smokescreen asked in an off-handed manner.

"Enemy? Me?" Swindle feigned innocence. "Surely you're not going to hold a few black marks against me? This could be a wonderful partnership."

"Is that up to the point where you betray me and leave me high and dry?"

"You wound me. When have I ever betrayed you?" the Combaticon drawled before taking a sip from his cube.

"Kalis, remember?" the Autobot said deadpan. "And why should I trust a Decepticon with the name of 'Swindle' anyway, hmn?" Smokescreen was beginning to enjoy their banter and a faint smirk curled his lips. "Besides, I have no idea what you're talking about."

Swindle put on a good show of looking exasperated. "You don't? You mean to tell me you haven't heard about the Jaxian cruiser with a fortune in artifacts and weaponry floating around somewhere in this quadrant just _waiting _to be discovered?"

Smokescreen's optics narrowed and he looked around surreptitiously. "This is not the place to talk so openly about such a thing."

"Well, then, we should get out of here." If possible, Swindle's smile widened even further. "Your place or mine?"

The Autobot just glared at him. But he did finish off his energon cube and climbed to his feet. Smokescreen's animated door-wings were swept back at a high angle and all but shivered with repressed emotion. "Move it, Swindle."

"So cold." He stood and followed Smokescreen when the Autobot gestured for the Combaticon to accompany him. Swindle smiled a bland little smile and wondered how long the Autobot would be foolish enough to walk in front of him. As a general rule, it was never a good idea to let a Decepticon stand behind you, the temptation to stab one in the back was just too great. And as expected, Smokescreen had only walked two steps before he froze and looked over one shoulder with narrowed optics.

"Everything alright?" Swindle asked congenially as he moved to stand at Smokescreen's side. When the Autobot made no move, the Decepticon cycled air through his intakes and shook his head. "My place then?" He knew the Autobot wouldn't be caught dead in an unfamiliar 'con's ship, though. Of course, since he had little desire to go to an Autobot's it worked out well.

To Swindle's reckoning, it would only take another three astroclicks before Smokescreen gave in and suggested a room in neutral territory.

He was wrong--it only took him two and a quarter.

"Let's get a room," Smokescreen grumbled after a long pause. As expected, neither mech was willing to let the enemy know where they were staying.

Swindle cocked an optic ridge and grinned. "Why Smokescreen, you should know I don't interface on the first date."

Smokescreen suddenly whirled and pinned the Combaticon against the corridor wall. "Do not test my patience, Swindle," he growled, his face mere inches from the Decepticon's. While normally not a violent mech, Smokescreen's optics had bled to a pale, flickering blue.

Swindle seemed nonplussed. He simply held his hands up in a non-threatening manner and calculated whether or not he could reach his gyro gun and fire before Smokescreen could reach for his own weapon. "Whoa now, Smokey. No need for violence." Swindle mentally winced when Smokecreen's optics narrowed fractionally. The Decepticon marveled at the realization that the diversionary tactician really _was _slagged off at him something fierce. "Don't tell me you're _still _slagged off about that time in Kalis."

The Datsun was too good an actor to let Swindle see how much that taunt affected him. His pride had been stung all those vorns ago and Smokescreen had nursed the grudge ever since then. "No, I just don't like you. Decepticons tend to put me off, especially two-faced crooks like yourself."

"Jeeze, you're starting to sound like Ultra Magnus. Just calm down, Smokey."

"Stop calling me that." Blue fingers tightened around Swindle's shoulder struts. "And stop hitting on me while you're at it."

"What happened to your sense of humor?" Swindle feigned a put-upon expression and went limp against the wall. "Whatever the case, you might want to let me go because those guards heading our way look a bit too interested."

Sure enough, two members of the station's security patrol were indeed heading their way.

"Is there a problem?" the taller one asked.

"No, no, not at all, officers. Just a lover's spat--but we're through now. Aren't we?" Swindle smirked at Smokescreen, and mentally snickered at the look on the Autobot's face before Smokescreen trained his features into a more neutral expression.

"No, everything is fine, officers. We're just going back to our quarters now."

"Very well, move along then, please."

"Come along, _dear _." Smokescreen managed to make that endearment sound more like a curse. He grabbed Swindle by a forearm and proceeded to drag him away. The Combaticon laughed a decidedly unpleasant laugh, but hurried his step to match Smokescreen's stride.

"Were you always this aggressive and I never noticed or am I just a special case?"

"You're special alright. A real piece of work." Smokescreen picked the first lodging facility he could find on the main drag and paid for the room without a word.

Swindle busied himself by looking around curiously and acting as innocuous as possible. "You take me to the nicest places," he purred just for the thrill of seeing Smokescreen's expressive door-wings twitch. Once the Autobot finished signing them in and they were waiting by the lift, Swindle sidled up to him and wrapped an arm around Smokescreen's waist. Smiling coyly, Swindle moved to brush his lips against the 'bot's audio receptor, acting the part of the playful lover to the max. "Don't look now but we're being followed. Do try to play the part a little better, hmmn?"

The Datsun shifted to look at the smirking Decepticon. "And what exactly are you playing at now?" But he didn't shake Swindle's arm off, which just made the Combaticon smirk more.

"Pretending like I just picked you up at the energon bar, of course. Come on, Smokey, it's not like we haven't done this before."

"That was a long time ago and I've no interest in repeating that mistake." Smokescreen mentally cursed Swindle and his creator's line all the way back to the age of the Quintessons. Of course the fragger had to bring up such unpleasant memories.

"It's just for show, what's the big deal?" Swindle leaned up so he was optic to optic with Smokescreen. "They're looking our way so just hurry up and kiss me. We wouldn't want to disappoint our spies, now would we?"

"By Primus, I hate you," the diversionary tactician snarled.

"No you don't, it's just easier to--" Swindle's taunt was cut off as Smokescreen's lips covered his own in a crushing kiss. Pliable metal scraped and molded to form as the Autobot angrily attacked his former lover's lips with his own. Swindle felt the wall bite uncomfortably into his back but he ignored that discomfort. There was just enough anger and spite in the kiss to make his little Decepticon spark dance in its chamber and Swindle was gearing up to give as good as he got when the bell indicating the lift's arrival chimed.

Smokescreen shoved away from him with a disgusted grimace. "Come on." He stepped around Swindle and entered the lift. A tense sort of silence reigned between them as they rode the lift and walked to the room Smokescreen had rented for the night. Only after they'd shut and locked the door did the Autobot finally turn to look at Swindle. "So?"

"So what?" Swindle poked around the room for a few moments before settling down on the edge of the recharge berth.

"So what information do you have about the Jaxian ship?"

"Ah, ah, ah." The slagger even had the temerity to waggle his finger at Smokescreen in a chastising manner. "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

"What are you, a five year old Earthling now?"

"Jeeze, so testy. When did you turn into such a complete slaghead anyway, huh?"

"I don't waste my time being polite to Decepticons."

"Blah, blah, blah, so formulaic. Since when did you buy into the whole black and white, good versus evil mindset, huh?" Swindle's expression was sour and spiteful. "The Smokescreen I knew didn't see just black and white, he knew about the various shades of grey that fall between the two."

"And since when did you take up preaching, huh?" Unwilling to let Swindle know how deeply his barb had struck home, Smokescreen unspaced a data-chit and held it in his hands. "Now, what information do you have on the Jaxian ship?"

"Ah, straight to business then? Fair enough, a mech after my own spark."

"…I certainly didn't ask you here for the pleasure of your company, Swindle. Stop wasting my time."

Swindle unspaced his own data-chit and waved it. "You mean this? Oh, nothing much, just the security specs and overrides for the Jaxian ship," he said in an off-handed way.

The diversionary tactician's optics brightened. Having that bit of information would make his job a lot easier. The Jaxians were infamous for having some of the hardest and deadliest-to-circumvent security systems on their ships. They were of the mindset that they'd rather the whole ship be destroyed then risk it falling into the wrong hands. Smokescreen immediately began to formulate a plan to get that data-chit from Swindle.

"And you?" Suddenly serious, the Decepticon leaned forward fractionally. Gone was the smirking amusement and slightly malicious teasing. In its place was the cutthroat mercenary who was part of the aptly named gestalt called Bruticus.

Smokescreen watched this minute transition with interest and his advanced psychological programming made note of the chameleon way Swindle presented himself to others. "Me? Well my sources say this data-chit contains the location of the Jaxian ship."

"Really?" Understandably suspicious, Swindle merely cocked an optic ridge and climbed to his feet. "How do you know it's real?"

"How do I know _your _data is real?" Smokescreen countered. "It's encrypted in Jaxian codes dating back to the correct time period. I'm waiting for my systems to finish defragging the data as we speak."

"Hmmn... so. How about a truce?" Much like the cats Smokescreen had studied on Earth, the Decepticon sidled gracefully up to the Autobot and circled with a faint, charming smile. "I want the weapons, you want the artifacts. All in all it's an equitable trade."

"Right, because I _want _to help you get more weapons so you can shoot at my friends and myself."

"It wouldn't be like that. Do you honestly think I'd waste such high quality weaponry on the _Decepticons _?" he scoffed. "Frag no! I'll get a much better price on the open market. Megatron's a cold-sparked son of a glitch. Cheapest slagger I've ever met, so you and he are both glitching if you think I'm going to cut into my own profits out of a misguided sense of 'loyalty', hmph!"

"So personal greed still comes before your loyalties, huh?" The blue and maroon mech needled.

"That's just cold, Smokescreen. You make it out like I tried to kill you."

"You betrayed me, stole everything I owned and then left me in the worst part of Kalis, surrounded by Decepticons and without a weapon to my name."

"But you got out okay!"

"It took Ratchet a whole deca-cycle to reconstruct my chassis. I wouldn't call that 'okay', Swindle!" He was beginning to lose his temper again and had to take a step back from the argument.

"Come on, Smokey, don't be like that," the Combaticon wheedled. "You would have done the same thing in my position." He realized his mistake too late when Smokescreen's optics went a pale, icy blue and he socked Swindle across the jaw. The move knocked the Jeep back two steps and the Decepticon rubbed his jaw gingerly.

"And you would have done _that _in my place." Smokescreen snarled.

"Are we really going to sink down to this level, Smokey? You know violence only makes it harder to do business. I'm offering you a truce here. Sure, we could have a knock-down, dragged-out fight but I'd really just as soon exchange information with you. But if you want to fight, let's fight. It ain't my security deposit."

"Frag you. I know you, Swindle, it's never that easy. There're always strings attached and some hidden cost."

"A mech has to make a living--"

"I don't care. I've no interest in allying myself to a Decepticon."

"This isn't about our factions, Smokescreen!" Swindle snapped, his patience finally growing thin. "I could care less if you're an Autobot. This is about credits. A _lot _of credits." Violet optics glowed as the Decepticon caught Smokescreen's shoulders in a tight grip. "So lets put the past behind us and make a fortune, huh?"

Smokescreen looked hesitant. "Come on, Smokey. It'll be just like old times," Swindle purred. Seeing as how Smokescreen was fighting him, he decided to change tactics. "We made a great team, you know. The best I've ever had aside from my gestalt-mates."

"Please tell me you don't have the same--"

"Ugh, no. Have you seen the bunch of glitch-heads they have running around on the Decepticon base? I don't know who's crazier, the 'cons or Megatron for filling his army with a bunch of neurotic psychopaths." Swindle privately observed that Smokescreen had yet to push away from him and the Datsun's hood brushed against his own. A calculating light entered his optics as he leaned forward and brushed his lip components against Smokescreen's.

Unlike the kiss downstairs, this was almost chaste and surprisingly soft for a Decepticon.

"What are you doing?" Smokescreen pulled back fractionally and narrowed his optics.

"Trying to seduce you. How am I doing?" Swindle asked with a mischievous grin.

"Considering seduction is usually supposed to be subtle, not so good." But there was a faint twitching at the corners of the Autobot's lips when he said that.

"Come on, Smokey. We were good together once, really good. I know you remember." Swindle's voice had dropped to a low, husky purr. Dark fingers rose to trace a feather-light touch down the tactician's cheek before catching his chin so that the Jeep could tilt his former lover's head just so. A longer, more seductive caress of lips this time. Swindle calculated how long it would take him to make Smokescreen's resolve crumble. Once the Autobot wasn't paying attention, he could steal his data-chit.

Smokescreen calculated how long he'd have to play along before Swindle got distracted enough to get a chance to lift that data-chit off him. The diversionary tactician's battle-computer told him he'd probably be better off feigning hesitance for a few moments. It wouldn't do to seem too over-eager. Besides, it had been a long time. And Swindle, fragger that he was, had brought up some of the more pleasant memories Smokescreen had of their former relationship. "I shouldn't." He even managed to pull off a suitably torn expression.

"Why not?"

"Are you kidding?" It didn't take much acting to lace his tone with disgust. "Our somewhat checkered past aside, you're still a Decepticon and I'm an Autobot."

"Oh please, what they don't know won't hurt them. Besides, since when have you let opposite factions stand in the way of a good overload, huh? It's not like I'm asking you to run away and be my bondmate or anything, Smokey!" Swindle laughed and toyed with one of the Datsun's headlights. "Just a little mutual satisfaction is all."

"Swindle, I--" Smokescreen shivered slightly. Curse the fragger for remembering where his hotspots were even after all these vorns!

"You want it, I can see it, Smokey. And who's going to know? We're out in the middle of nowhere without another member of our faction anywhere nearby." When the Datsun made no indication of moving, Swindle dragged his fingers down Smokescreen's bumper and scraped them along the inside of his wheel-well.

The Autobot's vocalizer issued a low groan before he abruptly pulled Swindle close and kissed him once more. A feral sort of determination shown on their face-plates as each mech sought to wrest the loudest and most pleasured sounds from the other. Somewhere along the way they ended up falling on the bunk, much to Swindle's pained chagrin, but that temporary pain was forgotten in the frenzy of their movements.

It had been a long time for the both of them. Not many Autobots were willing to share their berth with a mech like Smokescreen and most Decepticons were afraid Swindle would try and sell them off in their recharge to some foreign country. Sufficing to say, neither mech had a long line of lovers knocking on their doors--but there was something to be said about rediscovering an old lover. Some things came by memory, others were learned or discovered with an awed sort of breathless pleasure. By the time both mechs reached overload and their systems rebooted, they'd each accomplished their goals.

Unfortunately for Smokescreen, Swindle had felt him reach into his subspace pocket when the Decepticon had overloaded the first time, while Smokescreen knew the moment Swindle lifted the data-chit off of him when he was coming back online from his last reboot--yet, neither mech let the other know. They liked to fool themselves into thinking they were that smooth.

Instead, Swindle hung around for a few breems more and just lay there toying with the base of Smokescreen's door-wings. "I missed that. We should do that again sometime," he said, and was surprised to realize he meant it too. The Combaticon wasn't sure where that urge came from and was fairly sure he didn't like or approve of it--but being an adaptable mech, he resolved to use it to his own advantage in some way.

"Maybe," Smokescreen said without giving a firm commitment. Now that the euphoria of overload was fading, the tactician just wanted Swindle gone so he could concentrate on his stolen data-chit. The Autobot refused to acknowledge the strange twinge he felt in his spark when he briefly considered Swindle's offer. It was impossible of course. Out here on the rim, sure they might be able to get away with it--but there was no chance of such a relationship carrying on once they were back with their respective armies.

Both of them knew that and neither mentioned it again.

Eventually, Swindle rolled out of the recharge berth and smirked down at Smokescreen. "Consider my offer, will you? I really think we'd made great partners." He was lying of course. He had no intention of sharing the find with Smokescreen.

"I will," Smokescreen smiled a benign little smile and mentally ran through a checklist of things he'd need before he left port. He could be packed and ready to leave in three breems. Not that he was going to tell Swindle that, of course.

"Later."

Once the Decepticon left, Smokescreen waited half a breem before slipping the stolen data-chit out of his sub-space pocket. He had a ship to find. And with a grim little smile, he left the room as well.

_One Deca-Cycle Later: _

Swindle looked up as the door to his cell opened. He was a little worse for wear after his enforced stay on the Jaxian prison ship, but he'd had worse beatings at Megatron's hands. That slagger Smokescreen's data-chit had led him directly into a Jaxian ambush. Swindle didn't know if he should have felt anger or respect for Smokescreen. It wasn't often someone pulled a fast one on him after all. In the end, he'd settled for a grudging respect.

So when his captors tossed a rather battered looking Smokescreen in the cell with him, Swindle merely cocked an optic ridge. "Well, well, well. Look who we have here."

Smokescreen turned startled optics on the grinning Decepticon. "Swindle! What are you doing here?"

"Seems I got some bad directions, took a wrong turn and ended up in the middle of a Jaxian security patrol," he drawled.

A tense silence hung between the two of them before both mechs slowly smirked at one another. "Nice touch with the security measures," Smokescreen admitted begrudgingly and settled against the wall across from Swindle.

"Thanks, you weren't half bad yourself." Out of all the mechs in the combined Autobot and Decepticon forces, only these two could take a mutual screwing over like this and turn it into a strange bonding experience. It probably didn't speak well for their characters that they both felt a wash of wry amusement and respect for one another—but then again, neither of them had ever been model examples of their respective factions.

"So…" Swindle finally drawled out to break the silent camaraderie shared between themselves. "Truce?"


End file.
